I've had a dreadful food week. I have found myself unable to control my eating in the evening, and have also hardly dragged my arse out the door for exercise at all.
So - what the bloody hell is going on?
There could be lots of contributing factors: the aforementioned hormones, the dark evenings brought about by the end of daylight saving, the fact that the weather is cold and miserable and it feels like August not autumn.
But I suspect a more deep-seated issue - fear of finishing.
I am one of these people who often leaves a project 'not-quite-done'. It's not such a problem with work - I have to meet other people's expectations, so things have to be finished off. But when it's a task or a goal I've set myself, I don't seem to be able to get through the last little bit.
But why should I be like this?
I think it's something to do with my 'all or nothing' attitude. When I take something on, it really becomes a big part of my life. So when I finish it, will my life become a little emptier?
This seems to be related to something I talked about a couple of weeks ago - about letting my weight-loss become too big a part of what defines me. As I get closer to goal, I have to face what my life is going to be like after that.
I know that I will still need to be aware of my food and exercise - all this won't suddenly stop just because I've reached a certain weight. But on a fundamental level, something will have changed - and I need to find a way to cope with that.
Because otherwise, my self-sabotage will continue.
14 comments:
It's a weird thing. When I first started out, I'd read blogs of people close to goal and how they were struggling and think... why can't they just make that final effort to get there. But it's never that easy, is it? It's all mind games
Oh, a toughie! I didn't face this one myself - couldn't WAIT to get to the finish line - but I can understand your feelings of "what the hell happens next?".
Sounds like you will find a way to deal with these feelings though, and I'm confident you will get to your Goal and then find a new focus that isn't necessarily related to your weight.
Sorry I don't have any useful advice :-)
No, when you finish your life won't be empty! It is still a challenge maintaining and keeping fit and healthy. You will keep your blog (I didn't start mine till after I reached goal) and you will continue to inspire others and be inspired by others.
Don't worry about this small "rest" period. You have done such a magnifent job and some such a long way, you deserve a rest now and then.
Do something nice for yourself!
I completely understand everything you are questioning!
The humungous effort you've put into your health and fitness the past year has almost come full circle to the point where it will be time to move on because you've achieved the initial goal. That doesn't mean you go back to the start, it just means you move onto the next thing because you've now learnt how to incorporate health and fitness into your subconscious (and conscious) everyday living.
I don't think you are really out of control, just taking a well deserved rest to think about what to do next.
When I got to goal, it was fairly anti climactic and I felt a little bit lost without the intense focus on a weight loss goal but you know what, I just found other things to become intense about and focus on. Life goes on and I think the way you now look at life is so much more positive and procative that you'll really start discovering yourself on so many other levels as well.
I don't know if any of that helps or makes sense or is relevant but that's what coming out of me this second. You'll be right babe, just keep moving forward, you are so close now! :-)
Interesting post! When you get there and you will - it'll be the start of a new journey of maintaining and challenging your fitness levels further.
I think maybe you and your body are just taking a unintentional little break and you will soon jump back into it and onwards to your goal:)
goodness girl you have come so far you don't think you will have time now with all you are doing to give up on yourself cause you wont so u might munch a bit after 6 but beat if u remember what u munched on b4 it will be a whole heck different than this weeks munches. I walk thru the pantry and fridge some days in a daze looking for something and usually end with an apple in my hand. Before it would have been at the least a half inch thick hunk of cheese...and beat u do the same. I could eat apples all night and still it wouldn't have same calorie or fat value of that one hunk of cheese.
Sorry you have had a rough week. I understand what you mean though, its good that you are able to recognise it now - and hopefully work out a strategy to stop the sabbotage. The subconcious mind is a wierd thing, very powerful. You have come such a long way Sue, you will get there, Est xox
As a notorious non-finisher of self set projects (you only have to look at 50+ boxes of crap under my house to verify that) I clearly understand what you are going through. And because you articulated it so clearly I think I now understand a bit more about why I feel so 'blah' lately. My one year anniversary is next weigh in and that combined with the closeness of goal is just playing with my head.
Thanks Sue. I should not have stayed away from the blogs for so long. It offers me too much insight. Oh, and I think I am pre-m too.. That explains a LOT... :D
Have a great weekend
Hang in there, chica. You know how to do this. Get up tomorrow, and get back to making yourself feel good by eating nourishing food and exercising your body.
Don't you dare give up, you are such an inspiration to me :)
Hang in there, who said it was gonna be easy any way!
Thanks for your comments to my blog, I've found it!
OMG do not give up! Look how far you have come and look at what an inspiration you have been to all these bloggers comments here and many more that haven't posted but read! You are one in a million and you can finish this!!! and when you finish this then you will never be able to say you don't finish things again... you can do this my friend! I believe in you.
Love Chubbymum
I love reading your blog. You are a strong woman, you will do this. You know within yourself what you need to do to get you over the finish line. Your weight-loss will be done and dusted soon enough, with persistance and determination you will get there.
My WW leader always tells us, "You are never cured of this" and I just love it when she says that, because I think it is true. You are right it all won't suddenly stop. You won't know until you get there. Maybe find some more "at goal" people and talk to them about it.
Keep going Sue, I think you're an absolute champion.
You do deserve a rest
Hi Sue
I have just been reading some of your blog and what an amazing women you are. YOu should be very proud of your acheivements! I am looking forward to reading the rest :)
Hi Sue - I can relate to this feeling. It appears based on your posts that you have a good head on yoru shoulders and I will find a way to work through your feelings. You are quite the inspiration to follow. Thanks so much for sharing your journey. I'll be cheering you on all the way over here in the USA to the finish line!
Nicole
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