Monday, April 24, 2006

It is clear I have learned nothing!

I have been a blogger now for almost a year. It's something I really enjoy doing, even if I do fade from the scene at times. And I have 'met' so many wonderful people here (and a very small number of complete twits!) - people who are funny, inspiring, entertaining, intelligent, caring - all the things we look for in new friends.

But despite this massively rich resource of support, sometimes I think I really haven't learned a thing.

Let me tell you about self-inflicted unnecessary pressure...

A couple of months back I rejoined WW to help me lose my last 10 or so kilos. Instead of being an At Home member, I now actually go to meetings. At that time, the entry forms for Slimmer of the Year were on display. "Hmmmm" thought I, "I could do this". With a closing date of 12 May, I had about 8 weeks to lose 10kg.

See, I told you I've learned nothing!

Up until now, I've always set myself goals - be under 100kg by Christmas, be under 80kg in time for the duathlon, that sort of thing. Some of the goals I've reached, some I haven't. But they were my own personal goals and deadlines - it felt great when I reached them, but I could also handle it when I didn't.

Suddenly, here was this new possibility - and let's be honest, I was tempted by the prizes and the potential brief flash of fame. So I decided that my goal weight was 76kg - the top of my healthy weight range and that if I was really strict with myself I could blitz the entry deadline.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Up till then, my plan was to get to 76kg and THEN decide what I wanted my goal weight to be. I didn't want to take months to lose the last 10kg, but I knew it could take a while.

But no, despite all the months of claiming this was a lifestyle change and my health and fitness were more important than my weight, I was seduced into deciding I could force the weight off in a rush.

And the result - several weeks of yo-yo-ing (how the hell do you type that word without it looking ridiculous?) weight as I tried to force myself into this unrealistic expectation.

It's okay, I'm over it

After this attack of brain fever, I have come to my senses. I know that the weight will go - if it's a slow, steady loss, that's better than obsessing about every item of food that passes my lips. And much better that beating myself up for every slip-up. And I know (have always known, but chose to ignore briefly) that the weight-loss is just practice for maintenance.

My lifestyle now needs to reflect what my lifestyle will be in the future - not one of self-denial, but one of balanced and enjoyable eating.

Besides, I can always enter Slimmer of the Year in 2007!

14 comments:

Me said...

It isn't that you haven't learned anything - it is that you momentarily forgot what you had learnt.
50.6kgs in 57 weeks is an amazing statistic which you should be proud of - it shows that you are doing so many things right. Those last 10 kilos were always going to be the hardest no matter what (actually 76 is only 5.9 away from you week 57 weight anyway!). But you are right - it all comes down to balance - once you get the balance right you are able to maintain. The tricky bit is that the balance changes constantly.
Keep up the fantastic job you are doing and you WILL get to goal.
Take care and have a great week.
Me

Kathryn said...

Yeah, what Me said! I was going to say that. And just think how fab you will look in 2007.

Arrghhh these last few kilos are the stubborn buggers though, aren't they.

Emily Campbell - Independent Stampin' Up!® Demonstrator said...

Well personally (and selfishly, ha ha) I am bloody thrilled that you're not entering this year, because I wouldn't be able to win against such tough competition!!!

Seriously though, you have done amazingly well to come this far in such a short time, and you have done it with more committment and determination that just about anyone I could name.

Nevermind if those last kilo's take a bit longer to come off, sadly thats just the way it is - because you've given them such a lovely place to live over the last few years, they are really reluctant to leave!!

PS. You are definately NOT stupid!!

Kate said...

The do say the last few kgs are the hardest to lose, and I think that's where a lot of people go wrong, and start stacking the weight on again in sheer frustration and feelings of failure. Well done for getting onto it now, and not letting IT get on top of YOU!! :-)

Ails said...

It's funny what the lure of flashy prizes and getting your 15mins of fame can do to someone - you only need to watch The Biggest Loser to see that! :) You have become an amazing inspiration to us all Sue and it is clear that you have learnt valuable lessons on how to treat and respect yourself daily. Guess these are the things you need to costantly remiind yourself of everyday when the frustration sets in as those last 10kgs take just that little bit longer to disappear. Have a great week :)

Margaret said...

Bloody Oath you can (little bit of colloquial swearing in honour of the Anzac's)

You have learned a lot and if from time to time other desires push to the front on your mind - well the learnings will push them back sooner or later. In your case sooner. Well done.

And I have ridiculous wide feet and arches that don't even register on the fancy schmancy walk over machine. AND they roll inwards. I am amazed I can walk at all. Which I am about to do for lunch. :D

Kt said...

i think you'd have a really good chance at winning slimmer of the year - you have lost an incredible amount of weight & made some incredible lifestyle changes - i say u enter 07 for sure!

Laura Bora from Bufadora said...

I call it "Diet Head" -- rather than "Healthy Lifestyle Change Head".

I can't TELL you how many times I've called my best friend up and asked, "I have such and so event in three weeks, do you think I can lose 10 pounds by then?" or "My reunion is in September, how much weight do you think I could lose by then?" blah blah blah.

I think it's normal for those of us who have struggled with weight for a large part of our lives and have dieted in many ways to only end up miserable and feeling like failures.

You're doing so awesome in the femmacho athleticism! The number will follow as long as you keep being so kick-ass...which you're doing! Congrats on the duathon by the way!!

Suzy said...

You are my Slimmer of the Year anyway Sue. You don't need to enter a competition to prove that.

Anne said...

Looke where you are now! You are a winner despite those last few k's!!!!

Julie's Journey said...

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you have said. I think you have done so incredibly well to reach where you are and isn't yo-yoing the pits? Just keep inspiring us to bigger and better things...
:o)

philippa_moore said...

As far as I'm concerned Sue, you've already won Slimmer of the Year!

The last few kg's do take their time unfortunately. But I found the minute I decided "ok, I'm not going to stress about this anymore, I'll just go with the flow", the last 500gms melted away!! (even with eating my Lindt chocolate bunny!). Giving yourself a challenge or something to work towards is always great, but if you make it too intense and put too much pressure on yourself then the body can rebel, and usually does!!

You've achieved so much and I am so in awe of how well you've done and how much you've changed in just over a year.

I think Slimmer of the Year 2007 has your name all over it....

Mary said...

LOL yep, you can enter next year and like the rest of the comments, you're already a winner babe! I can just imagine all those thoughts going through your head, hehe.

Briony said...

You are already slimmer of the year as far as i'm concerned!
Have a great day today.
Bri